Posted by DivorceLine in Effects of divorce on children is a huge topic these days. In a research, a young, pregnant, single woman was asked why she was having a child on her own. She said, “My parents divorced and my father left my mother without ever sending child support, so what good was it that my mother was married.”
If a seven-year old had to choose between his mother and father, he could not. One of the most important questions regarding family life over the last decade has been “How does divorce affect children?” With more and more couples getting divorced, it is becoming increasingly important for parents to talk to their kids about it openly. Various studies have been conducted in this field to find out how the parents should approach the children and how does divorce affect the kids personally.
Some of the effects of divorce on children are easily seen when:
a) Children tend to blame themselves and the teens especially end up rebelling and try to “improve” themselves.
b) Some children quietly sink into depression and end up on the road to suicides.
c) Some children tend to display anger and aggression towards their siblings and class-mates.
d) Some children get anxious about the stability of the family and their own.
In a recent study by the University of Toronto professor Fuller Thompson, it was published that children whose parents had divorced had increasing suicidal thoughts, with guys more vulnerable. The study was conducted on 6,500 adults. The male members were more vulnerable because in most cases it was the husband who left his wife and the boys lose the presence of a role model.
In the United States, in May last year researchers had identified that a rise in single-parent families is a significant factor in the rise in child poverty over the last four decades. One of the most adverse impact of divorce between parents on kids is the fear that children have of abandonment. They blame themselves and end up thinking that it is their fault. This makes them detached from everyone around them even when they are in their 20s and they cannot have a healthy relationship with another individual.
The problem is increasing with more than 1 million children under 18 involved in a divorce. One study of divorced children over a 5-year follow-up by Wallerstein (1985) showed:
A) They had a poorer physical health than children from intact families.
B) Emotionally, they showed problems like:
1) Fear of betrayal.
2) Increased anxiety.
3) Anger and hostility.
4) Low life satisfaction.
C) Socially, the children were unable to establish healthy relationships in later life with their own spouse, family or friends.
To avoid their children to suffer for their mistakes throughout their lives, parents need to know that not all the effects of divorce affect all the children. Some are strong enough to get through it. Others can undergo counseling to help them deal with their emotions, education and an open communication.
The most important thing is for parents to communicate with their children. Kids of this age are older than their age. According to a study, less than a fifth of divorcing parents told their children as to what was happening and just five percent were allowed to ask questions. Parents need to support their kids because it is a difficult time for the whole family and not make the custody battles messy.
It is very ironic but a family needs to stay together to get through a divorce when it is actually breaking apart. Effects of divorce on children cause lots of stress on them.
