Posted by DivorceLine in Do It Yourself Divorce Tips
Getting divorced is an important decision. Before you decide to get a divorce, you may want to meet with a family counselor. A counselor is someone who can help you identify issues concerning your marriage and your decision to get a divorce.
If you cannot work out your differences, divorce is a way to legally end your marriage. This information should only be used when you and your spouse agree on the basic issues. If you and your spouse disagree about child custody or other important issues, you should seriously consider getting an attorney. Not everyone can afford an attorney and court staff cannot give you legal advice. If you have a low income, you may be eligible for free legal services.
You are a defendant in a divorce case if you have been served with a copy of the court forms called a Summons, Complaint, and Notice of Automatic Court Orders. A state marshal may hand them to you or leave them at your home. It is important that you read all documents. Read the notice in the middle of the Summons carefully. Read the Notice of Automatic Court Orders attached to the Complaint very carefully. They apply to you when the Summons and Complaint are served on you. The Automatic Court Orders also give you a case management date.
You and your spouse must complete a Case Management Agreement and file it with the clerk before that date. If you disagree about custody or visitation of your children, you and your spouse must go to court on the Case Management Date. After you get a copy of the court papers, you may contact an attorney to represent you or follow the steps below to represent yourself. Even if you agree with what your spouse says in the complaint, follow the steps below to participate in your case. If you take no action, the judge may order what your spouse requests in the Complaint.
At the end of the waiting period, your case may be scheduled for a final divorce hearing. The schedule depends on how much you and your spouse agree on the issues. If you and your spouse agree on all the issues, your case is “uncontested” and the divorce hearing may be scheduled immediately. If you and your spouse agree on everything except money and property division, your case is called “limited contested.” If you and your spouse disagree on the custody of your children or visitation, your case is called “contested.” Contested and limited contested cases are more complicated than uncontested cases, they also involve more court rules and procedures, and they are beyond the scope of this guide. You must tell the court, using the Case Management Agreement, about the status of your case (for example, uncontested) and when you will be ready for the final divorce hearing.
Financial Affidavits are sealed upon filing and, unless otherwise ordered by the court, are disclosable only to the judicial authority, to court personnel, to the parties to the action and their attorneys, and to any guardians ad litem and attorneys appointed for any minor children involved in the matter. However, if there is any hearing at which financial issues are in dispute, the court shall terminate the sealing. Also, any person may file a motion to unseal the Financial Affidavits.
If you and your spouse have children, it is very important to make a parenting plan to work out parenting responsibilities. Your plan should address custody and visitation. A judge will decide custody based on what the judge thinks is in the best interest of the child. Usually these orders are the result of agreements between the parents about where the children will live and how much time they will spend with each parent. The amount and type of visitation, or parenting time, may depend on the age of your child and how close you live to the other parent.Visitation may also depend on the kind of relationship you and the other parent have with your child. Financial support of your child is also important. You and your spouse should try to agree on child support payments, your responsibilities for medical and health insurance, and for medical bills not covered by insurance.
Child Custody
Joint custody means that both parents make the major decisions in a child’s life together, like the child’s education, religious up-bringing, or major medical care. Daily decisions like bedtime or what the child will wear are generally made by the parent who is with the child at the time. It should be noted that joint custody does not mean that the child must live half the time with one parent and half the time with the other.
Sole custody means that the child will live primarily with one parent. That parent has the final decision making responsibility for the child and is called the custodial parent. The custodial parent may, however, consult with the noncustodial parent. Usually, the judge will make sure the child has ongoing contact, or visitation, with the noncustodial parent.
Visitation
Reasonable visitation means you and your spouse want to arrange parenting time with your child yourselves. This works well when the parents and the child do not need a fixed schedule, and both parents are flexible and agreeable. Some judges may require you to prepare a written plan.
Fixed schedule visitation means setting definite hours during the week for the child to spend time with the noncustodial parent. Fixed schedules can include overnight visits, weekends, weekday evenings, and sharing holidays, school vacations, and summers.
Supervised visitation means that some responsible adult must be present when the child is visiting a parent. The judge may order supervised visitation if the safety of the child is a concern.
A no contact order means that the noncustodial parent may not see the child because the judge has decided contact with the
parent is not in the child’s best interest.
Alimony
Alimony is the money a judge orders one spouse to pay for the support of the other spouse. There are no formal guidelines for how much alimony to award. The judge decides each case after looking at the facts, including the length of the marriage, the age,health, income, and job skills of each spouse. If there are children, the judge may look at whether the custodial parent works outside the home. If you do not ask for alimony at the final hearing, you can never get it in the future. If alimony is awarded by the court, either party may be able to ask the court to change (or modify) the amount in the future. If you want alimony, tell the court how much you want, how long you want to get alimony, and for what reason. For example, you may want alimony because you plan to go to school or because you need it to meet household expenses.
Child Support
Each state has child support guidelines which set the amount of child support to be paid by the noncustodial parent. The chart in the guidelines tells you the amount of child support to be paid based on the number of children and the combined net income of both parents. The guidelines also list reasons the judge or family support magistrate can use for deviating from the chart.
Educational Support Orders
Either parent may make a motion asking the court to order educational support for a child to attend an institution of higher education or a private occupational school for up to four academic years or until the child attains twenty-three years of age, whichever is sooner. If no educational support order is entered at the time of your divorce, and your divorce decree does not specifically provide that a later motion for educational support may be filed, no educational support order may be entered thereafter.
Health Insurance for Your Child
Medical and dental insurance can be just as important to your child as financial support from the other parent. Usually, at least one parent must provide health insurance for your child if it is available through work or another group insurance plan at a reasonable cost. The judge or family support magistrate decides what is a reasonable cost. The judge or family support magistrate also decides how uninsured medical and dental expenses will be shared, if you and your spouse cannot reach agreement.
Enforcing Your Court Order
Most people are law abiding citizens and follow court orders. If your (ex-)spouse disobeys the court order (for example, the orders about custody, visitation, child support payments, health insurance, or selling property), you may ask the court to help enforce the order. You may first want to try to talk to your (ex-)spouse and work out the problem. You may also ask a family relations counselor at your local court to help you try to mediate or solve the problem. If you cannot work out the problem, you may ask a judge to enforce a court order by filing a written motion for contempt. A motion is a request in writing. Contempt is a court decision that someone disobeyed a court order on purpose. If your (ex-)spouse is disobeying the child support, health insurance or alimony part of the court order, you may ask for help from the state agency responsible for enforcing these court orders.
Mediation
A trained mediator can help you and your spouse reach an agreement on major issues, including property division, child custody, child support payments, and a visitation (or parenting time) schedule.
Legal Advice or Representation
You are encouraged to review your case with an attorney before you take any court action. Some lawyers only charge a small fee for a consultation or to review court papers. To find an attorney, simply click on an ad on our site and you will be able to view attorney’s contact information. If you have a low income, you may qualify for free legal help from one of the many legal services programs in your state.
Family Violence
If you are being physically abused or threatened with abuse, you are encouraged to contact your local family violence program. They offer emergency shelter, counseling, and support.
List of Legal Holidays
Courts are closed on the following state legal holidays: New Year’s Day, Martin Luther King Day, Good Friday, Memorial Day, Independence Day, Labor Day, Columbus Day, Veterans’ Day, Thanksgiving Day, Friday After Thanksgiving, Christmas.
